BUT PAPPU CAN'T DANCE SAALA

is a song from the latest Aamir Khan production Jaane Tu .. ya Jaane na . Music is by God and the songs are already chartbusters. The lyrics of the above song -

Hai muscular, hai popular, spectacular
Paapu ki gaadi tez hai, Pappu kudiyon mein craze hai
Pappu ki aankhen light blue, pappu dikhta angrez hai
Rado ki ghadi haathon mein perfume gucci wala

But Pappu can’t dance saala, Pappu can’t dance saala
Pappu naach nahi sakta

What the hell. If I am muscular,spectacular and have a Rado watch, I care a damn if I cannot dance !

Hey ye.. ye.. Pappu hot hai and smart hai
Hey ye..ye.. karta hai France mein holiday
Hey hey hey Pappu guitar bajata ha
But Pappu can’t dance saala, Pappu naach nahi sakta

Similar argument holds here !

AH ! BLISS

My joining date has been changed twice so far ! It was postponed to August 18th and then following a rebellion and a volley of mails from our side to advance it, it now stands at July 21st. I guess this is the final official date as the HR herself has mailed us personally with the list of certificates and things to bring on July 21st. We will be reporting at Karapakkam (OMR) as against the N'bakkam campus followed by a week long orientation at Hotel Ambassador Pallava. I only hope there are no more changes.I am all eager to start working , rather eager to keep my mind engaged because for the past year I have been majorly vetti and jhak maraofying at college in the garb of project. It was actually a paid vacation of sorts thanks to the monthly stipend.

I am perfectly enjoying my vacations. Time simply seems to be flying. I haven't had a single boring moment so far. Apart from the eat,sleep,roam,movies routine and IPL in the first 2 weeks, the other time occupying things are internet,a teeny weeny bit of cooking, cleaning,( Oh yes my wife is lucky :P) reading etc. I have perfected coffee (apparently) and can cook up edible rice, sambhar and some curry. Cutting seems to be the only headache as it is taking ages for me. Ideally I should be able to dole out a full Tam meal ( rasam,sambhar,curry ) by the end of the vacation.My granny is home right now which virtually rules out any access to kitchen for the next week. Obviously she has been churning out finger licking stuff. This sums up a perfect vacation before the drudgery of a 10-11 hour work per day and monotony lying ahead.

I have seen Indiana Jones,Sarkar Raj, Aamir, Bujjigadu, only Ind Jon is worth a watch among that list. Aamir has been receiving amazing reviews and ratings. It seems to be majorly inspired by Phonebooth, Nick of time etc. However, it is neither engrossing nor captivating. The only unique aspect has been the showcasing Mumbai in a totally new angle - a glimpse of the Muslim infested slums, ghettoes,slaughter houses, markets etc.

A typical day's sleep is from 1am to 9am and 3pm to 5pm with minimal physical activity. This surely means a Jyothika level waistline and Rambha level thigh line in the next couple of weeks, as against the Trisha-in-Bheema level circumference as of now !

THAT'S IT FOLKS

Note : I had posted this on May 16th, a couple of days before leaving IITM . I then wanted to edit it . Thanks to the wonderful net at home, I never really had the chance to publish it. I am reposting it now.

What began on July 28th,2003 has ended now. May 7th,2008 was officially my last day and grades were released today. It is now confirmed that its all over. The last one month was not very peaceful, what with thesis submission and another end sem on the same day, the last weeks of April and first week of May had been torturous. Like a Bollywood movie , it has been a happy ending with A grade in project. My first sem magic continues to haunt me. I put a wretched E in the final course in the last sem. Logically, it should be attributed to thesis submission and end sem on the same day. Practically, it should be attributed to the inadequate knowledge that thesis can be submitted peacefully even 3-4 days late, just before the viva. However,I am happy there are no last minute hurdles. I will be leaving once for all by 17-18th , once I am done with all the formalities. I have some works left in the meantime. The no dues is almost over, I have disposed many shirts, jeans and books, and computer and cycle ( Oh yes I got it back !) are the only things left. These will stay put at my aunt's house and retrieved later. The train tickets have all been booked, so volvo beckons. My joining date is July 2nd and I am surely looking forward to one solid month of eat,sleep routine a trip parents .

I have been wanting to share many things about a travesty called Dual Degree Project (DDP) which lasts for about 1 year . The Btech Project (BTP) is for 6 months. Crudely put, for a majority of the guys it is essentially about how to convince (a) Your guide and (b) The panel consisting of 5 wise men that you have done enough work to pass out with the coveted IITM degree. A project is essentially sabko ullu banao. Of course, there are many guys who slog and carry out their projects with utmost dedication. But regarding the others, there are a few time-tested methods. Given the amount of outsourcing done in the project, it could actually be renamed BTPO on the lines of BPO. The modus operandi generally includes

(1) Copy from vague and obscure source. Emboss it , add a medley of beautiful symmetric graphs and it sells like hot cakes. This is what music directors like Rahman ( Brazilian tunes ) and Pritham ( Korean and Indonesian tunes) do.

(2) Blatantly manipulate values. You just need to know what trend the graph follows after the experiment. The readings are all a formality. What we do in MS Excel the reality. It is an excellent tool to obtain wonderful, expected,tallying graphs. Just chuck out the aberrant value and obtain a wonderful result. Bill Gates needs to be mentioned in the acknowledgments alongside the usuak guide-parents-wing mates routine. As an aside, I have noticed Mtech students inlcude their GFs name also.

(3) This is the ultimate crack. In case of non experimental work, like analytical studies using ANSYS / FLUENT / MATLAB or coding etc Orkut works wonders. Join some community and actively participate in the discussions. After a week or so, post your problem. In all likelihood, there will be a bakra from some remote corner of the world who will chance upon your problem. A friend of mine got all his work done by a Chinese goat. His work was very similar and that chinki was a major enthu putter. He peacefully wrote the MATLAB codes and FLUENT stuff and gave our man all the graphs, images and everything. Strong stuff I say.

Btw the above list is in no way exhaustive.

Coming back to the vacation, amma has major plans for my Hyd stay. Cooking is the first of her priorities. She is keen on my eating home food atleast on weekends. I hope to grasp atleast the basics now and explore further later. Other than that , IPL, shopping, practicing not sleeping in noons, and getting used to a 11 pm- 7am biological clock are the other things in my schedule. Goodbye, IITM

GOODBYE, IITM

This is the last blog post from my room. I will be leaving for good tomorrow evening. I am packing he comp now and it will stay put at my aunt's place and retrieved later when I come before joining. There are no feelings of India as of now, I guess I will surely feel the pain when I leave tomorrow. Goodbye, IITM.

DUBBING FOR LAXMAN

- After being given "icon" status

W T F. Naku icon status aa. I better renounce it. As it is I don't have a place in ODI team. And my athleticism is being compared to the likes of Dada, Aloo etc. I can't handle this. Ok I can do one thing. Renounce my icon status and use it to bid for better players

- After being made captain

Ayya baboi. Ok, I have Gilly, Monkey,Gibbs,Vaas etc for experience. I will act as though I am at the helm of affairs but will secretly use them for field placing and tactics. I cant even hurt any bowler. I can only cut and slice him unlike others who murder him. So it is pointless to come in the middle order. I'd better use the initial power play field restrictions. I can atleast get 2-3 boundaries by flicks, slices and pushes. Else I am dead. So initially I will go one down and later go and open.

- 2 overs 20 odd to win against Rajasthan.

Goes to RP. (In hyd hindi) Dekh bhai. Merku field setting yeh woh nahi aata. Jo bhi hona bol. Main waisich act kartun aur field placing kartun. Aur thoda Gilly ko bhi pooch. Aur acchi bowling kar. And in the melee of things places an extra fielder in outcircle as a result of which it is declared no ball. RP ( to himself) - Kya c****ya hai yaar.

- 1 over, 17 to win

Discussing with Monkey. Monkey asks Laxman something. Lax ( to himself) - Nee yabba. Nene sastunna ikkada. Inka comedy chestava ra. Nake emi telidu. (You ass. I am myself dead here. And you ask me for tactics and do comedy. What do I know ?)OK do one thing. Just bowl something. Tail enders only no, we can pull it off.

- After losing 3 matches.

Man this is getting ridiculous. We had the best betting odds and Rajasthan had the worst and we lost 3 on the trot. The Hyd ground is also half empty. Goes to DC office. Hey! Can we have some more squads of cheerleaders ? Else no one will fill the ground at this rate. Currently we have 3 porn stars masquerading as cheer leaders at one section. We can have one at every fielding position. And add a desi touch by roping in Mallika Sherawat, Shakila, Rakhi Sawant, Mumtaz. This serves 3 purposes. The proverbial one stone, 3 mangoes
Firstly the ground will be full.
Secondly , the batsmen will surely get distracted. They will concentrate on other balls instead of cricket balls.
No cheering when are batting. Only when we are batting and hit in the deep will we have cheer leaders. Mallika with her fine legs will stand at fine leg. Aishwarya who has a third man ( Sallu,Vivek, Abhishek) will stand at third man. Mumtaz who has had a long off from films will be at long off. Rakhi who is never covered will stand at covers. Tanushree who revels in minis and midis will be at mid-wicket. Anyway I dont have cricketing strategies. Atleast I will contribute in this way.

NO MORE CLASSES

It started on July 28, 2003 and ended on April 17, 2008. I just attended my last class at IITM. As is my wont, I went in 2 min late. I am sure I can never attend classes on time unless there is a negative incentive in the form of X beside my name.

My first class in 2003 was a core bore subject in Mech and probably one of the worst courses - Materials Science and Engineering . It had this stupid concept of prof in one room and the students in the other, staring at the screen like some movie ,and the profs did not take attendance. It was the foundation for bunking, sleeping in the last bench, killing time etc. Of course I wont be a loser and attribute my lack of enthu to the lectures, but yeah why should I take all the blame . I think I got 5/20 in the first quiz , the least score during my stay here . The best thing being in Mech is that you always have company , and in many cases people who outperform you. So yeah, there were people with binary value level marks also. Btw that course was scrapped the very next year. I guess it was an aftermath of our wonderful 2003 Mech batch. This reminds me of one incident, in another class though. A gets 1 and B gets 0. A goes to B and says - Macha I got infinite times more than you. Thus started the saga of proxies, bunking-and-maintaining exactly 75% attendance, one day internationals, xerox, assignment submission by faithfully adhering to just-in-time policy (JIT) with a six-sigma level accuracy like Mumbai dabbawallas etc.

4th sem had an awesome incident at which I laugh even now. One guy had not submitted the assignment like our entire gang. The prof catches him. Here goes the convo -

Prof - Did you do the assignment ?
Guy - No sir
Prof - I always see you in the last bench and you never have interest. You people slog day in and day out in your 11th and 12th and give up like this. You wake up at 4 am and go to Ramaiah's classes braving the cold Hyd winters and end up doing nothing here. What happened to that dedication, commitment etc
Guy - Sir I was in the evening batch.

The most common graffiti seen were IIT - Insti of Idiotic Teachers, Insti of Infinite Tensions and a coffin with an inscription - In memory of those who died waiting for the lecture to end. My favourite time pass used to be snake on Venky's mobile and arbit drawings on my notebook. A few samples are shown here.


This cartoon was obviously not an original one. A reproduction, but a decent one in my opinion. As you can observe, the girl has a :P expression. I urge my readers to come up with a satisfactory explanation for that. The winner gets to play basketball with that cute girl in her micro minis. In case the winner is a female she can chat with the cool dude below who has a cell phone surgically grafted to his left ear, given the plethora of calls he receives daily.


However, when I do have enthu I scribble down something which generally resembles an aeroplane taking off of every line. A few more samples -


These were about 2 famous playwrights - Arthur Miller and Ariel Dorfman, both of whom had strong Leftist ideologies. This was from a Humanities course - Drama. We actually had to stage a group play at the end of the course. Given that it was my debut, I had the least number of lines. However , I got to play the bridegroom in that play titled "A Matrimony of Errors". It was good fun though.

And yeah, hold your breath, I am about to reveal a tsunami causing news. There was a clamour for my notes in the 8th sem Mechatronics course. Many guys photocopied my notes as they felt mine was very legible. On a personal note I actually put major fight for that course and it was by far the best I had ever written . I can now proudly say "been there , done that" regarding all aspects of classroom life. I am not sad or nostalgic about it being the last class. Infact, there is no feeling at all. I am happy that I had at least attended it. I now bid adieu to the rooms which housed most of our classes - Class Room Complex (CRC) - 101,102,103, Mechanical Sciences Block (MSB) - 257, 357 and Machine Design Section (MDS) - 217,306. I hope my name is scribbled atleast on one bench.

I GOT PICKED-2

So, it was well past 10pm now and the lights in the entire bogie were off. No dirty conclusions please. I sat at the edge of the side lower seat, she at the other edge.To add to your mood, let me include stuff like the moon was shining, and it was pretty cool. Everyone was asleep.

*****************
She - So when do you gen sleep ?
Around one. After net goes.
Hehe, ok I sleep at 12 types. I just can't sleep at 10-11.
Yeah, same here. ( She got the message that I was game for more chat)
Then some gen talk about movies, weekend hang outs etc. Since she was scolding Chennai, I too cribbed majorly. Again, I had to score points, right ?
Enter Pongal la Sambhar (PLS). Yes, he was as welcome as sambhar in Pongal. Why ?Because I was seated in his place , and now I had to move further towards her. He seemed to be of my age, and obly yet another s/w guy.PLS and the girl ( ok call her j) had already spoken to each other while I was reading. So, overlooking me ( I was beside her rem) , she talked to him for the next 5 min. I really felt odd. J sensed my displeasure , and well left him now. She resumed talking, that guy left, but intelligently I continued to stay put at my place. A call at 11pm, this surely must be PLM I thought. She was talking for a few minutes. Now, I had to do something. Genly window gazing. Thankfully PLM left in 5 min. I deliberately emptied my bottle of water and asked her. Again we chat for some 10 min. PLM calls again. She cuts, says we use CUG in company, so it is free. This might take time. I now decided to gather some sleep.

****************
Morning, around 6-30. I came down. She - Smiles. GM. I am so sorry, I had to cut you yesterday.
Me - Yeah its ok. So when did you sleep ?
Hmm at 4.
Whattt ?
Yes, phone itself till 1. Then I couldn't get sleep. I was staring at the moon.
I guess you were right. Like Jab We Met Kareena you sure talk a lot.
Hehe. I know that.
And what made you gaze at the moon from 1-4 ?
Hmm it was a beautiful sight.
OK forget it. Coffee ?
No thanks. I had it.
Hmm ok.

**************
It was almost 7-20am by now. She asked me when we would be reaching. I said in ten mins. She was seeing the stations like Falaknuma Palace, Malakpet etc. I said now 2 more mins. We started packing the bags and kept it on our seats. I decided not to act despo. I did not want to ask her no . Now the train started decelerating. I did not even look at her, feigning total lack on interest. And now halt. I picked up my bag, a bit sad. She too picked hers. The PLMs and kids also picked up and I was about to disembark. Voila!
Rajeev, I will be coming to IIT for some work next week. Can I have your no ?
(1000 watt smile) Oh ! Sure.
She takes out a slip and I blurt out.
Me - Why slip ? What happened to mobile
She- Hmm no charge.
I decided to give a final parting shot. Avunu mari. Raatiranta fone matladute charge ela untundi. ( If you talk through the night, how will charge be there)
Hehe.
Her sis comes, and she introes me saying this was the guy I was talking to. Thankfully my dad had not come yet. I gen aa smiled.
Bye Rajeev. Have a good time
Thanks. Wishing you the same . Bye
******************

The next time I am traveling in train, I have a ready pick up line for F 23.
Innocent face, a bit tensed, stumble here and there - " Excuse me. I am travelling along this route for the first time. Does this go up to Egmore? I really have no idea. "

blah blah

I shall update as and when I get a call reg her "work" at IIT :)