DUBBING FOR LAXMAN

- After being given "icon" status

W T F. Naku icon status aa. I better renounce it. As it is I don't have a place in ODI team. And my athleticism is being compared to the likes of Dada, Aloo etc. I can't handle this. Ok I can do one thing. Renounce my icon status and use it to bid for better players

- After being made captain

Ayya baboi. Ok, I have Gilly, Monkey,Gibbs,Vaas etc for experience. I will act as though I am at the helm of affairs but will secretly use them for field placing and tactics. I cant even hurt any bowler. I can only cut and slice him unlike others who murder him. So it is pointless to come in the middle order. I'd better use the initial power play field restrictions. I can atleast get 2-3 boundaries by flicks, slices and pushes. Else I am dead. So initially I will go one down and later go and open.

- 2 overs 20 odd to win against Rajasthan.

Goes to RP. (In hyd hindi) Dekh bhai. Merku field setting yeh woh nahi aata. Jo bhi hona bol. Main waisich act kartun aur field placing kartun. Aur thoda Gilly ko bhi pooch. Aur acchi bowling kar. And in the melee of things places an extra fielder in outcircle as a result of which it is declared no ball. RP ( to himself) - Kya c****ya hai yaar.

- 1 over, 17 to win

Discussing with Monkey. Monkey asks Laxman something. Lax ( to himself) - Nee yabba. Nene sastunna ikkada. Inka comedy chestava ra. Nake emi telidu. (You ass. I am myself dead here. And you ask me for tactics and do comedy. What do I know ?)OK do one thing. Just bowl something. Tail enders only no, we can pull it off.

- After losing 3 matches.

Man this is getting ridiculous. We had the best betting odds and Rajasthan had the worst and we lost 3 on the trot. The Hyd ground is also half empty. Goes to DC office. Hey! Can we have some more squads of cheerleaders ? Else no one will fill the ground at this rate. Currently we have 3 porn stars masquerading as cheer leaders at one section. We can have one at every fielding position. And add a desi touch by roping in Mallika Sherawat, Shakila, Rakhi Sawant, Mumtaz. This serves 3 purposes. The proverbial one stone, 3 mangoes
Firstly the ground will be full.
Secondly , the batsmen will surely get distracted. They will concentrate on other balls instead of cricket balls.
No cheering when are batting. Only when we are batting and hit in the deep will we have cheer leaders. Mallika with her fine legs will stand at fine leg. Aishwarya who has a third man ( Sallu,Vivek, Abhishek) will stand at third man. Mumtaz who has had a long off from films will be at long off. Rakhi who is never covered will stand at covers. Tanushree who revels in minis and midis will be at mid-wicket. Anyway I dont have cricketing strategies. Atleast I will contribute in this way.